HOMELESS – DAY 005

Ponte Vedra Beach

Well… This was Day 005 of being Homeless, and though not as DRAMATIC as some of the other days… It was still a day with Ups and… Downs.

Ponte Vedra Beach

One of the GOOD THINGS about living out of a Vehicle, is that I have no HOUSE to go home to! — I know that I have to stay in my Vehicle, so… I may as well keep it AT THE BEACH MORE OFTEN than not! So… I have been enjoying the Beach/Ocean so many more days, than I normally would… driving 40 minutes to it from the Northside!

And that has been a JOY, because…

God’s Creation is simply AMAZING!!! 

I have always felt home at the Ocean!

It’s been good for the soul, to spend more time there! 

Jacksonville is Awesome because the Beaches are SO DIFFERENT! You can find SANDY beaches, and Colorful Shell-Laden Beaches, and other kinds as well. Very different experience on the various beaches here!

I LOVE THAT! It’s like going to the Beach in SEVERAL STATES all within the SAME CITY!  

But… The sad thing about Ponte Vedra, is that people with means have HIJACKED the Ocean there! You can drive 5 MILES or more, RIGHT NEXT TO THE BEACH and not see it AT ALL during that time, because the Houses have been built in such a way, with trees and vegetation to provide Maximum Privacy, for the homeowner (Ocean Owner) and for everyone else? — SUCKS TO BE YOU! — And as my friend Beatrice Elias aptly pointed out… Many of them are just used as VACATION HOMES!! They block everyone’s view, and yet only live there… a FEW MONTHS out of the year!!!

THAT ATTITUDE of SELFISHNESS is part of what is WRONG with the world we live in!  

I still go there, for the Shark’s Teeth and Shells there, but… You have to drive 5 or 10 miles out of your way to get to the PEASANTS PUBLIC BEACH ENTRANCE! LOL

Joe's Crab Shack

Joe’s Crab Shack! LOL

An unofficial Jacksonville  Landmark!

Red Cross Station

RED CROSS Lifeguard Station!

TRUST ME: YOU WANT to remember where this place is, if you ever dance a Tango with one of our JellyFish!

They have the CURE in a convenient squeeze package! LOL

But, it wasn’t all Beach Fun only today!

There were some SPIRITUAL ADVENTURES as well!

Some “Good” and some “NOT SO GOOD”

FIRST THE GOOD…

New Friends

These brothers were AWESOME to rap with! 

And MOSTLY, we rapped about GOD!

The Brother in the Middle was doing most of the talking, of the three, when I was there at another table. But he has a strong voice, and you could not HELP but hear his conversation!

Part of it revolved around ANGER though. He has been working on some anger issues, but for a moment, it seemed more like he was BRAGGING about letting his anger get worked up!

I got some spiritual inspirations about him, and really felt like I should offer them up to him. So… I went over and introduced myself, and shook hands, and then just came out with: “Brother, I couldn’t help but overhear much of your conversation, and dude… If you don’t find some more LOVE, I am worried you are gonna end up in Prison or a Ditch!”

He responded that He really wasn’t PROUD of it, but… It was how HE DEALT with it, to avoid it being WORSE! In other words, he would express his anger at THINGS but try and not do the same with PEOPLE!

But I told him: You know, I get the feeling that ANGER is your way of avoiding PAIN actually! It is not that the ANGER is so strong it has to be let out or something. YOU ARE “CHOOSING” Anger so you don’t have to feel… HURT and PAIN! It is your way of AVOIDING Pain! Avoiding people hurting you or taking advantage of you. I told him it likely stemmed from a sense of being HELPLESS… Not in control of the situation, so… other people have the upper hand, and this was partly his way of GAINING CONTROL BACK!

But I expressed that, rather than go through a process of FORCING HIMSELF to feel ONE EMOTION (anger) to avoid the REAL EMOTION goin on (Pain) was a self-defeating strategy! It just ADDS A LAYER to the mix, that has to be REMOVED ANYWAY, so that the REAL EMOTION can be dealt with!

I suggested that, instead of this backwards process, he “COULD” if he CHOSE TO, just change HOW HE THINKS about the situation he is facing, rather than the process he uses now! I explained that THE EMOTION is stemming from HOW HE THINKS about the events! If you CHANGE how you perceive the events, then it WILL also change the Emotion that results from the thinking!

An example might be: Someone living on the streets because of Drug Additions! You could decide that these people are just undisciplined BUMS and that thought could lead to feelings of anger or disinterest. Or… You could decide that THEIR OWN LIVES are already punishment enough, and you could feel SORRY for them, and thankful that YOU aren’t living that way! Then what happens? A completely different emotion results! Now there is not anger resulting, but… compassion or pity.

THE EMOTIONS follow the THOUGHT PROCESS!

In any event… It turned out that these young men had a GENUINE interest in Spiritual Discussions and Philosophical Discussions and they talk about deep things together on a regular basis, they said!

I thought that was AWESOME, considering that 90% of the conversations of their peers, are probably penis jokes, and the like! It was good to see some YOUNG PEOPLE who ON THEIR OWN were searching for the TRUTHS that life offers! No one MADE THEM do this… they are just a little deeper sometimes than many of their peers!

I shared some of the theological break-throughs that God had revealed to me, and… though they were very different personalities from each other… They “ALL” seemed to appreciate the insights I offered, with a couple of them saying I made a lot of sense, and it helped them understand some things better, and clear up some questions they had!

These guys were really cool. And we must have rapped for an hour or more! One of them is Military and another is dropping out of school to get his G.E.D. so he can start college sooner. I know I know… Maybe not the wisest decision, but… They alerted me to the fact that you can NO LONGER SKIP GRADES in Florida? I had not heard that before! Last I knew, you could take some tests, and skip one or two grades!

THIS PART OF THE DAY WAS AWESOME!!!

Clothes on Clearance for $2

Even though I am homeless and poor right now… K-Mart gave me a New Wardrobe for $2.00 each item, CLEARANCE! Ha ha!

I never thought I would LOVE K-Mart clothes, but… In this set of circumstances, it may as well be Rocawear! Ha ha!

Thank God for small things that feel like BIG THINGS when your situation is a little more desperate!

But, it was not ONLY GOOD experiences today!

Sadly, I let God down a little bit today…

Cigarettes

God wanted me to QUIT SMOKING, and… I DID!!! Cold Turkey! And it was all good for a few days, but… Today, a friend really let me down, by DELETING ME as a friend on Facebook, because he doesn’t like my OPINIONS on theological (or political) matters!Seems kind of LAME to delete someone simply for their OPINIONS! I know I wouldn’t do it! But… maybe he is actually AFRAID INSTEAD, because he KNOWS he has no defense against the points I made, other than the defense he chose: PERSONAL ATTACKS and finally DELETING ME ALTOGETHER!!Living alone and homeless in a vehicle as it is… This just reallly BEAT ME UP for some reason, inside, and… I went and scored some smokes to stifle the feelings of sadness. It really hurts when you only desire GOOD for others, and they literally accuse you, of being motivated by THE DEVIL or EVIL. You love them, and try and help them, and they HATE YOU, and accuse YOU of being the one WITHOUT GOD!! Is that something? It wasn’t God’s Love that drove you to silence me and even DELETE me as a friend! I have PLENTY of friends I disagree with, even after taking my best shots, some of them cling to their views, and… I still love them. I don’t DELETE them because they don’t share my EXACT views! How narrow and judgmental is that?Amazingly enough.. It is actually VERY CLOSE to declaring yourself GOD! You don’t need to consider other opinions or even LISTEN to anything anyone else says, because… YOU HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS ALREADY! You know ALL TRUTH and there is NO POSSIBILITY you could be mistaken… EVER!The only being I know, that DESERVES that kind of attitude about Himself, is… GOD! He is the only PERFECT BEING I know of!In any event: I let it bother me enough to buy a pack of cigarettes and light one up! NO SOONER had I done that though, but… HERE COMES THE CALVARY!!! (30 second too late! ha ha!)And while part of me DID NOT LOVE that my friends Chelsea Barker,Crissy PowerMoves SpiritWolf, Rebecca Quandt Potthast, Maureen Holmes Waters, Beth Campbell Letendre, Jaime Jadwin, were all there to encourage me TO STOP RIGHT THERE!!! The biggest part of me DID love that my friends showed up, out of concern! Hell, my friends are much smoother than the best cigarettes in the world! LOL

THANKS AGAIN… For a Little Help From My Friends! 

YOU GUYS ROCK!!! 

And… I am going BACK ON THE WAGON! 

Let’s see if I can make it all the way this time!

—– END OF DAY 005 —–

.

GO TO DAY 006:   http://craigmaxim.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/day-006/

.

JOIN ME ON FACEBOOK:   http://www.facebook.com/craigmaxim 

  .

Advertisement